wahahahahahahahah.....oh, yeah, sayonala papers, sayonala finals!! but hello house hunting =( dood, i think i need to update my blog mroe often or else nobody is gonna want to check it any more. rite jen?

andy and i went shopping in union square thsi afternoon. i was dead tired tho and my contacts were hella bugging me. we walked around for about 3 hours, i didn't buy anything, but boy does andy know how to shop! he spent almost $200 at BR! his freaking flip flop cost $70 alone! i dun think i could ever buy a pair of shoes that expensive.

on our way back to the bus station, i discovered this cute little cafe near BR, it's owned by some cantonese folks and it looks really peacful and quiet inside. and best of all, they sell boba drinks. but the strang thing is that they call it flavored "latte" instead of boba or milk tea. that's the first time i've heard people calling it that. they have green tea, plum, mango and a couple other odd flavors. they all looked vey tempting so i ordered the green tea latte. boy, do i know how to pick good drinks! it was so good that i think i'm gonna go get one every time i go to the city.

anway, i'm gonna sleep now so i can get up on time to take anh's parents to the greek theather. hmm, now that i think about, the last time i was there was for jerry's graduation, and it was three years ago when i was still a little innocent freshman girl. wow, time just flies by.

who says there are no cute girls an guys in Berkeley. they just party too much and only come out during finals. in the past couple of weeks, i've seen PLENTY of good-looking ppl in the library. but then again, seeing pretty ppl make me depressed and a bit pissed off too. yes, yes, all outta jealousy and stupidity. damn those pretty ppl i can't have!

Three rejections in a roll! This just about completely destroys the very little self-esteem that i still had left. It just makes me wonder if I have been way too confident about myself in the past. this is such an obvious sign that I should stop being so god damn happy with myself. gosh, i feel so stupid and humiliated. It seriously does NOT matter what you think about yourself, ultimately, it's what you receive from others that matters the most. I used to believe that it's good enough as long I have confidence in myself, and that what other people say don't matter a bit. I finally realized that that's just complete BS. I don't ever want anybody to tell me that ever again.

I hate myself. I hate being me. I hate myself for doing the things i do. I hate myself for not being pretty enough. I hate everything there is about me. my gosh, why did i ever think that i was all that? who the hell am i to think that i was all that? so stupid of me, so very stupid...........