Long time no see, blog

Wow, I can't believe my blog page still exists after so many years of inactivity. Perfect, just when I need it the most. I love you, blog, although it didn't seem like it for the past two and half years. But trust me, you have not the slightest clue how much I appreciate your existence tonight. I'm so grateful that I finally found a space which nobody I know will ever read, a space that I can freely express my inner most thoughts without worrying about possibly hurting the feelings of those I love due to the content matter. Again, I love you, blog.

I'm feeling much better now that four days have passed after the long-to-be remembered incident. I'm feeling better, but not fine yet. What troubles me now has detoured from the actual incident itself. What troubles me now is one particular opinion made by Irene as a result of my seeking comfort and justice from her. It is obvious that she thinks negatively of my behaviors and reactions of what happened. I can't say that I blame her for such comments because she has a valid point and I know for certain that she loves me and would never do me harm. But, I also can't deny that I am very affected by it. Did he think the same about me? The thought that he probably did hurts a lot. How dare him? NO, that's not what I am at all! No! No! No! He should know better or does he? Maybe it's because of the 6 years that have passed led him to thinking that he can do such cruel behaviors to me, but regardless of anything, he should've known better. He should've known better about himself and about me. Twice! What kind of girl did he think I am? How dare him hurt me like that! Twice, as if the first time wasn't sad enough. As if being stabbed in the heart the first time isn't brutal enough. As if to make certain I am hurt well with the second stab. How could him? Bastard! And how could I? Fool!